batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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