i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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