I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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