why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize