I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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