Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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