Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize