my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Barsexuality is the new black.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize