Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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