Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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