I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Even my vagina gasped.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize