i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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