Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize