Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize