I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize