She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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