Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize