i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize