as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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