we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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