is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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