I smell stomach acid.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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