I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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