Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

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  (586): Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him... http://tfl.nu/q62j
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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  (847): Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free. http://tfl.nu/2six
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (3637)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?

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  (480): ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen? http://tfl.nu/sppe
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.

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  (775): you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook. http://tfl.nu/f57q
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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  (505): We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee. http://tfl.nu/uw8q
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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  (706): Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in.... http://tfl.nu/ewud
  Replies (8) Good night (750) Bad night (1744) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks

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  (610): He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks http://tfl.nu/aq4e
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  (530): View more from California

  I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.

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  (530): I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims. http://tfl.nu/5fbz
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

  (916): View more from California

  you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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  (971): he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out (916): you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it http://tfl.nu/3y26
  Replies (11) Good night (2055) Bad night (461)
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  (914): View more from New York

  How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?

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  (914): How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy? http://tfl.nu/qpaa
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.

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  (602): Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis. http://tfl.nu/d56l
  Replies (10) Good night (702) Bad night (1571) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL

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  (516): We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL http://tfl.nu/hj1k
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND

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  (215): OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND http://tfl.nu/fivf
  Replies (23) Good night (1639) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.

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  (603): He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss. http://tfl.nu/zi8c
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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