Yo dont text me then not text me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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