Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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