my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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