I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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