I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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