Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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