I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize