Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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