Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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