Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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