went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize