Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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  (202): so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis? http://tfl.nu/6d0w
  Replies (7) Good night (694) Bad night (404)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

  (310): View more from California

  So you didn't like Bolt?

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  (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later. (310): So you didn't like Bolt? http://tfl.nu/dqy6
  Replies (2) Good night (2924) Bad night (466)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (22896) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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  (323): Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you http://tfl.nu/a4zz
  Replies (11) Good night (687) Bad night (3241) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

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  (503): New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/mtsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2741) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you traded sex for a burrito?

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  (715): you traded sex for a burrito? http://tfl.nu/sk1d
  Replies (35) Good night (5181) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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  (502): there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me. http://tfl.nu/l22j
  Replies (11) Good night (4718) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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  (214): You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/nfga
  Replies (14) Good night (5974) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6195) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol

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  (917): Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol http://tfl.nu/po2q
  Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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  (319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd
  Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.

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  (901): Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood? (1-901): Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine. http://tfl.nu/uq9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1613) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.

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  (845): Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right. http://tfl.nu/xf55
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real

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  (812): gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real http://tfl.nu/mhxe
  Replies (4) Good night (1125) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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  (216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt

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