when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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