I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize