My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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