Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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