two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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