Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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