Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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