I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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