Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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