I want to walk on stilts...naked
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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