We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize