We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
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Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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