There was a lot of him and a little penis
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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