Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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